This was told to me by Dennis Wong a very successful man who owns a company called ‘YOR Health’ along with a whole pile of other endeavors.
Dennis Wong is a self-made multi-millionaire who came from less than nothing and built his life into something many would dream of. In the short time I had getting mentored by him he said ‘Be so Selfish you’re Selfless’ initially it sounded so wrong, it went against everything I had been taught and believed in as what I would call a good person.
I was dead set wrong.
A short while ago this became beyond crystal clear to me, you can not help other people if you can’t help yourself. You also can’t build everyone around you whilst trying to build yourself, now don’t confuse this with pushing others down, no, you just can’t be trying to fix and help everyone else whilst you’re not in the position to be helping others.
It’s ok not to be in that position, it isn’t ok to not reach your dreams.
Whilst building my team that would bring a new product, into a new country and a new untested market I surrounded myself with people I respect but people that aren’t better than me, people that are on a similar level to me but unfortunately looks to other people to guide them and build them aka me.
This is fine if you have your own mentors, however, what the problem is is that you are trying to water too many seeds, you will all perish and that’s exactly what happened.
Trying to keep everyone employed, despite poor results, trying to mentor and be patient with people that just don’t have what it takes was time-consuming, draining and an extremely expensive experience.
Half a million dollars to be exact.
Work with those who deserve it not who need it. Thus focus on yourself.
If I had only pursued my dream and pushed as hard as I could for me and me alone I would have put us in a better position allowing me to help more people which would have included my family.
Unfortunately, I tried to keep everyone happy and help everyone reach their goals, this was a mistake it spread me too thin and I am the one that suffered the most.
Fill your cup, then fill everyone else. Just like they say on the safety videos on planes; ‘put your mask on then the child’s’ if your dead you both die.
It may sound counter-intuitive, it may selfish and that is exactly what is it. There comes a time to be selfish and a time to be selfless, know when these are. It will bring in better results for everyone. By being selfish (if you are a genuinely good person) you are in essence being selfless you will accumulate more resources and bring more opportunities to the people you are out to help.
The result of me trying to help everyone in the short term ended with us all out of a job.
Luckily a second chance was given and with that, a new perspective on how to build our team and help us each as individuals and as a company reach our goals. This came with a selfish approach taking more care with who I spent my time with, restricting calls with the negative people in the team and getting rid of the low performers, however ruthless this sounds it allows the people that truly deserve the reward to actually receive it.